There is more to prayer than the examen, and prayer changes as one’s relationship with God changes. Petitionary prayers—those asking for help—are normal, but they can also take on qualities of superstition rather than contribute to one’s relationship with God. However, petitionary prayers are still natural and have long been part of Jewish and Christian religious practice.

Martin tells a story about how he took part in an eight-day silent retreat in preparation to enter the Jesuits, and he couldn’t believe that people prayed for eight days straight. The retreat had no formal agenda. Martin was first asked to think about who God is, then Jesus. He imagined Jesus as his friend, and then he imagined further what Jesus was like. When he told his spiritual director Fr. Ron this thought, the Jesuit replied to him, saying, “I think you’re beginning to pray” (110). It was okay to both having feelings about God in addition to thinking about God. It also showed that God was communicating with him.

After beginning the novitiate—the first step on the path to becoming a Jesuit—Martin began to pray often and throughout his day, as was the routine. This included morning prayer and mass each day.