“Most of my friends or acquaintances in the area call me Erik, or Professor, or Dr. Brandt. Though none of them know it, I prefer a different name. I prefer to be called X. It is simply a letter, but it has far more meaning to me than my real name.”

Since the book is written in first person, X rarely refers to himself by name, and even when he does, it usually does not have personal meaning since he operates under a fake name for most of the book. X represents the hybridization of his identities. It obscures the Russian boy he pretended to be and the German soldier he was, transforming him into something new. At the same time, X is not an identity at all—it is an erasure of personhood and history. This represents The Loss of Names and Personal Identity to War and Violence and his disconnect from himself due to trauma.

“I dreamed of being one of them. A hero. In my mind, I saw myself leading an attack on an enemy position. Singlehandedly, I would destroy it. But then I would be wounded—most likely in the shoulder. Beautiful nurses would take care of me. Officers would pin medals on me, praise my courage, and thank me for what I had done for my country.”

X’s childish dream of being a hero for Germany is entirely a fantasy, and the rest of the novel systematically contradicts and undermines each piece of it. He does not lead an attack nor destroy the enemy but watches and hides as the enemy destroys them; he is grievously wounded in ways that permanently damage his appearance and health; he betrays his country, and they betray him. The only true piece of his fantasy is the beautiful nurse, and even she is a real person, unlike his idealized, unreal fantasy of nurses as objects.