My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry is a 2013 coming-of-age novel by Fredrik Bachman. The story follows Elsa, a seven-year-old girl with a penchant for grammar and deep affection for her grandmother, Granny, who dies from cancer. As Elsa discovers Granny’s past and the many lives she affected, she also learns more about Life and Death, Celebrating Differences, and the Complexity of Human Nature.

Originally written in Swedish, My Grandmother Asked Me has been translated into 25 languages. The UK translation was published in 2015 under the title My Grandmother Sends Her Regards and Apologises. Bachman has written four novels, which all became number one bestsellers in his native Sweden, including the 2014 title A Man Called Ove. My Grandmother Asked Me was long-listed for the International Dublin Literary Award in 2017. 

Plot Summary

Seven-year-old Elsa is close with Granny, her only friend. Both Elsa and Granny are considered “different.” Elsa is a precocious child with a sophisticated vocabulary, which makes it difficult for her to relate to others. At school she is bullied by the other children and misunderstood by the teachers. Granny, a former surgeon who traveled the world saving children’s lives, is an eccentric with a great disregard for rules and conventions.

Elsa lives with her Mum (Granny’s daughter) and Mum’s boyfriend, George, in an apartment across the hall from Granny. Mum is pregnant with Elsa’s half-sibling. An orderly type who is always in control, Mom is often frustrated by Granny’s impulsive antics. Elsa, however, considers Granny her personal superhero.

Granny is always ready to defend Elsa when she gets in trouble at school or when Elsa is upset by Mum and Dad’s divorce. When times get really rough, Elsa finds solace in “The Land-of-Almost-Awake,” a magical kingdom of Granny’s creation. Granny tells Elsa stories from the Land-of-Almost-Awake in a “secret language,” which Elsa assumes is only shared by the two of them.

Elsa is unaware that Granny has cancer because the adults in her life have kept it a secret. The night before her death, Granny asks Elsa to deliver a letter for her. She tells Elsa that with this letter, she is about to embark on a treasure hunt. Elsa is devastated by Granny’s death and confused by her mission. Still, she delivers Granny’s letter, which is addressed to a mysterious tenant in her building, a man Elsa has always feared and refers to as “The Monster.”

Elsa soon learns that the man is not the terrifying beast she imagined him to be. He is a friend of Granny’s, with a troubled past but a gentle and loyal nature. In fact, The Monster is the real-life Wolfheart, a character in the Land-of-Almost-Awake stories. Elsa also meets Our Friend, an enormous hound dog Granny has kept in the building who becomes Elsa’s faithful defender.

Granny’s letter to Wolfheart leads to another one, and then another. Each letter is an apology addressed to a tenant in the building, all of whom are connected to Granny. Like Wolfheart, each tenant has a counterpart in Granny’s fairy tales: Britt-Marie/the princess, Kent and Alf/the two princes, the boy with the syndrome/the Chosen One, Our Friend/the wurse, Mum and Green-eyes/the golden knights, and the woman in the black skirt/the sea-angel. While delivering the letters, Elsa learns about the tenants’ lives and discovers they are far more complex than she realized.

She also learns more about Granny’s life before Elsa was born. Elsa realizes that because of Granny’s job, Mum grew up without a mother to take care of her. Elsa is angry with Granny for this, as well as for dying and leaving them. However, she decides to complete Granny’s treasure hunt, hoping the last letter will be Granny’s apology to Mum.

Elsa’s real-life fairy tale adventure also includes a “dragon” (or “shadow”) in the form of Sam, a violent man who appears to be stalking Elsa but who is really looking for his estranged son, the boy with the syndrome. The wurse protects the boy but in doing so is fatally stabbed by Sam.

Elsa cannot bear the thought of losing the wurse, her best friend, immediately after losing Granny, but Wolfheart helps her learn to let go of those you love. She thanks the wurse and says it doesn’t have to protect the castle anymore; now it can go to the Land-of-Almost-Awake and protect Granny.

Elsa’s baby brother is born the same day the wurse dies. Mum and George name him Harry, after Elsa’s favorite literary figure, Harry Potter. Though Elsa was jealous of the baby before he was born, she doesn’t want to be the kind of siblings who are always fighting. She promises to always care for Harry and tell him all of Granny’s fairy tales.

Granny’s friend Marcel tells Elsa that Granny left the apartment building to her in her will because she knows Elsa will always manage it with the best interests of all the tenants in mind. Britt-Marie finds the courage to leave her unfaithful husband and embark on an adventure, which has always been a dream of hers.

The other tenants stay in the building, and life continues on. Though the tenants still argue occasionally, they have grown closer and share dinner together every Sunday. Elsa’s relationship with Dad strengthens, and she begins visiting him and his wife more often.

Elsa’s situation at school improves too. She meets Alex, another little girl who is different, and they become friends, attracting an ever-widening circle of “different” children who no longer have to worry about being bullied or chased. When a new little boy is teased for wearing a princess dress, Elsa and Alex show their support by wearing princess dresses of their own. From then on, they become the boy’s personal superheroes.