Don’t Believe Everything You Think: Why Your Thinking is the Beginning & End of Suffering (2022) is a work of psychology and self-help by Joseph Nguyen. Initially self-published, it became a major hit with readers, placed on international bestseller lists, and has been translated into dozens of languages. The book launched Nguyen as a self-help influencer with a daily newsletter, a frequently updated YouTube page, and a series of follow-up books and practice journals. Although it has not received as much mainstream press coverage as similarly themed books such as Atomic Habits (2018) and The Mountain is You (2020), it has developed a wide and passionate readership.

This study guide is based on the 2024 Author Equity Expanded Edition e-book.

Summary

This revised edition of the book begins with appreciation for readers who have made the book successful and who receive its lessons and pass them on to others. Nguyen promises that this edition will offer more practical tools in applying the principles of the book to everyday life (reflected primarily in the “Practice” section which comes after the main text). 

In the introduction, Nguyen lays out what he assumes to be the reader’s main issue: mental exhaustion. People pile an immense amount of mental stress upon themselves, which leads to suffering. Nguyen offers a way out—not by having any kind of special insight or elite knowledge, but by having experienced similar feelings himself. This prompted him to examine the universal truths of the human soul, aided by insights from philosophy and religion. Universal truths are applicable to anyone anywhere, without the need for a particular belief system or special ability. People need only look to what is already inside themselves.

The book begins by examining suffering within human existence. Borrowing from but also diverging from Buddhist teachings, Nguyen clarifies that suffering is a purely mental response to physical and emotional pain. When a person is hurt, has a memory of being hurt, or fears being hurt in the future, the mind creates a narrative around what has happened, which need not bear any meaningful relationship to what has actually happened. Reality is objective, but people only perceive reality through their own subjective framework. The mind is perhaps the most dangerous intermediary between a person and reality, as it has been trained by an evolutionary process to see everything as a threat, whether to physical safety or social status. As a result, the mind gears toward negativity, ultimately paralyzing one with fear.

The key to overcoming suffering derived from excessive thinking is to realize that one has a choice: At any moment, it is possible to calm one’s mind, reconnect with immediate surroundings, and recover a sense of joy and peace, which is in fact the natural condition. It is typical for one to be worried, feel upset, or respond to negative events—there is truth in emotional experience, and not all will be positive. However, thinking can take a negative event and imbue it with feelings of despair and crippling self-doubt. 

Containing one’s thinking does not preclude productivity. In fact, Nguyen insists that the opposite is true. Thoughts, which are perfectly natural as well as neutral, stem from the creative part of the soul more than the rational part of the brain. Our best ideas generate creatively, especially with a mind open to new perspectives and collaboration with others. The ability to distinguish between goals that fulfill a part of oneself, whether or not they are accomplished, and those that are pursued with desperation, is the real path to happiness. One does not have to choose whether or not to pursue goals.

There will be obstacles along the way. Life is challenging, and the mind is a powerful instrument. Practice makes it possible to live a happier and better-ordered life, full of unconditional love for oneself and others. One can use guidelines such as PAUSE (Pause, Ask, Understand, Say, and Experience), along with “activation rituals,” such as morning routines, which help to orient a person in the present.

Nguyen concludes the main text on a note of gratitude and good wishes. He  invites readers to follow his newsletter, then offers a series of practical steps for applying the concepts of his book to everyday life. Some are repetitions of material in the main text, such as PAUSE or examples of “thoughts” versus “thinking.” There is also additional advice on how to journal effectively, creating a morning plan for the day and evaluating its effectiveness that evening, as well as tips on how to structure one’s external environment to suppress overthinking and let intuition reign supreme.