Beattie explores the importance of self-love and self-acceptance for codependents. Many codependents suffer from low self-worth, often disliking or even hating themselves. They struggle with their appearance, intelligence, and lovability, constantly punishing and torturing themselves mentally. This negative self-talk and self-criticism can lead to a vicious cycle of shame and guilt, which serves no long-term purpose.

Beattie stresses that codependents must learn to stop this self-hatred and instead practice radical self-love. She reminds readers that their thoughts and feelings are valid and that they are exactly where they are meant to be in life. The author encourages individuals to accept themselves fully, flaws and all, as they are the best things they have going for them.

Beattie challenges the notion that codependents are somehow different or inferior to others, stating that all people have similar thoughts, feelings, and experiences. She urges readers to stop comparing themselves to others and instead focus on nurturing and loving themselves.

The author emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and kindness, arguing that individuals cannot properly care for themselves if they harbor feelings of self-hatred or dislike. Beattie advises readers to become aware of when they are punishing or torturing themselves and to make a conscious effort to replace negative self-talk with positive messages.